hard time

if I can not answer back ,if I can not take it,if I can not leave it,if I can not believe it ,then it hurts so much ,am trying to convince my self that it's not worth it and may be it's true but still it hurts ,yes love is blind but I wish I remain the same with whoever I think I love because I keep wounder is it me or them ? how come they can see me in this way or how come they didn't see me at all!!!!!!!!!every time I get hurt they are away ,they don't remind me all the time with what they did but now they are all around ,I have to see them and listen to them and feel them and this to much ...

buy me

believe me ,today am here in front of you between your hand still giving you chance...buy me ..tomorrow you look after me and you will not find me ..am not expensive for you ..nice talk ..good heart ..onesty..it was a song this is not my words ..it could be before but not any more..it hurt so much to not give you any more chances actually some times I regret that I gave all that love ..it hurt to remember ..I keep saying tomorrow you 'll forget a little bit but the problem is to forget what the love??? or the hate ..

tears

Am torn up ,am done ,all what I want is to be numb,don't feel any thing ,life became continuously headache and am trying to push my self day after day,I keep say the prayer of disasters even before they happen just to make sure or hope I'll remember them when it happen ,some times I say it'll not happen and convince my self to be happy till it happen if it happen ,but I keep failing ,I wish if someone there for me hold my head and if possible take my shoulders as well and cover them inside him and till me close your eyes and rest your brain ,relax cause am there .I'll be your eyes ,I'll be your brain ,every beat of your heart 'll be a laugh ,I love you and am there for you . Allah ...Allah ...Allah ...I know you are there looking at me and listening to me and always helping me and I know you will comfort me and that make me full of shame ,how can I ask you when I don't thank you .ungrateful stupid me..Am sorry for being me .am sorry Allah ,Am so sorry...

queen of drama

I wanted to say before stop to my self but then I Thought that I stop ed already ,every thing ,I stop ed every thing ,I still breath ,I can't stop breathing by my self ,am eating ,drinking ,in between laughing,but am tired from doing these things as well ,Want my self to leave my self alone I don't want her to deal with me any more ,can't she see that I stop ed fighting ,that I surrendered ,guess what ,I don't want to hear any thing from you so good bye.

I am ??????

I am .... first of all am not comfortable ,am so confused and stressed ,am trying to take a serious decision and am so worry ,will it be correct or wrong ,how I 'll live with consequences ,should I consider my family in this or just think about my self ,the main problem is that am not sure if my decision 'll be mainly depend on what I want ,any way I 'll try to hold on today and calm down and I'll see how I feel tomorrow,God help me please ,it's you who I want now more than any thing ,control my heart and my soul ,let them see and feel only what you want ,I am helpless without you and I don't want any help except from you .I believe in you and I love you.

my baby

my beautiful baby ,am waiting for you ,I love you so so much ,I need you so much ,I want you so much ,GOD..GOD..GOD...please ..you are the mercy merciful ,genres beautiful GOD ,put her inside me ,I 'll cover her with love ,I 'll feed her love ,I 'll learn her love..she 'll be my love..I love you...

and now

so ..now..now he want to come to see me ,what does that mean ,I can not find any explanation ,okay ,how am I suppose to treat him ,I am putting a strategy and backup ,but before any thing prepare your self ,take it easy ,yeah take a deep breath ,we 'll figure it out ,not now ,later....