my baby

my beautiful baby ,am waiting for you ,I love you so so much ,I need you so much ,I want you so much ,GOD..GOD..GOD...please ..you are the mercy merciful ,genres beautiful GOD ,put her inside me ,I 'll cover her with love ,I 'll feed her love ,I 'll learn her love..she 'll be my love..I love you...

and now

so ..now..now he want to come to see me ,what does that mean ,I can not find any explanation ,okay ,how am I suppose to treat him ,I am putting a strategy and backup ,but before any thing prepare your self ,take it easy ,yeah take a deep breath ,we 'll figure it out ,not now ,later....

before I forget

I'll not forget ,I had a great time ,being with you ,I love you ..amazing life is ,putting people in front of you and no matter how much you resist they invade you ,I tried but I couldn't ,so smart you are ,being with you that made my time great ,how I let my self be free with you ,that make me free,the way you see me make me wonder am I as you see me ,some times am scared because people see that ,,they see how much I love you ,I tried to surround my self with strong dark shell ,there is small window not a door and I keep looking and looking over and over to any one come near ,,I keep the light off and if you look at the window you 'll see it closed ,am looking through the small holes..some times I hang a Blaine face with bad comment under it ,to scare any one try to approach me,but some people just invade every thing in me they occupy me ,initially it scares me till I surrender and gave them my self ,you are one of them you own me ,I 'll not say it to you by word but you had me and I love you ...I love you...

amazing

am not going to say that life is amazing because it is ,but the most amazing thing is how it prove that ,I couldn't expect ,it was a shock ,wow ..wow..wow..you sit in front of me with your beautiful manly face and a gorges body and you make it worth when I saw you wearing brown ,gorges , you make me talk and talk and talk ,some times listening and looking at your beautiful eyes and having some fantasy and then you ask me why am not asking ,hea ..I never waited for you to ask ,why you told me today ..why not before ,this is the second time ..I know ..look at you trying to say hesitating and me all ears can not wait and then you blow it ..you blow me..any way,may be I felt relieved ,like I don't have to think about you except as friend ,but I'll be fol ling my self ,I know there is no friendship between a man and woman..true ..but as usual I 'll keep going till I face the T rode either right or left,,hopefully it 'll not be painful ...

insist

Insisting is a good thing ,it works with me ,but to insist on what ,major or minor . very seldom I insist om my own choices ,am afraid ,I keep saying excuses that it might hurt others or disappoint them ,may be !!! but what about me ! why I keep disappointing my self looks like it's legal ,but for others no ,okay now am talking to you,so listen ,are you happy ? Noooooooooooooo!!!!!,wow that was a big no,holding you tears?? yeah most of the time. I feel that you started to be creative in using all your weapons to keep your self intact? no comment...
okay back to the first question ,why your are not happy? cause I don't know what to do ,,Am tired ,dreaming about putting my head some where ,where it fit ,I can't find my self and am spinning and spinning my head in one direction and my body in the other direction and my heart ...hea ,,now I can cry I believe that if I talk to God my heart will be better ,he can fulfil me so I can stop spinning but again ..you said you know the way ...why you stop ed ..you know the way ..will you insist ..for your happiness ..will you insist ,this is the only thing I am bagging you ,for your sake insist ,God promised ,Mohamed (SAW) promised .when you 'll insist ? when you 'll walk in your way ,there is a place there ...you can put your head and I promise it 'll fit

alone on the road

you don't always have to pretend to be strong,
there is no need to prove all the time that everything is going well,
you shouldn't be concerned about what other people are thinking,
cry if you need to,
it's good to cry out all your tears,
( because only then will you be able to smile again ).
that was paulo coelho writing a poem of another Japanese poet,
it made some tears come down looks like I needed permission or encouragement ,Wish I can cry out all my tears but they are stubborn or waiting to be used in other big occasions ,who knows,
my title is alone on the road .... so far.....