insist

Insisting is a good thing ,it works with me ,but to insist on what ,major or minor . very seldom I insist om my own choices ,am afraid ,I keep saying excuses that it might hurt others or disappoint them ,may be !!! but what about me ! why I keep disappointing my self looks like it's legal ,but for others no ,okay now am talking to you,so listen ,are you happy ? Noooooooooooooo!!!!!,wow that was a big no,holding you tears?? yeah most of the time. I feel that you started to be creative in using all your weapons to keep your self intact? no comment...
okay back to the first question ,why your are not happy? cause I don't know what to do ,,Am tired ,dreaming about putting my head some where ,where it fit ,I can't find my self and am spinning and spinning my head in one direction and my body in the other direction and my heart ...hea ,,now I can cry I believe that if I talk to God my heart will be better ,he can fulfil me so I can stop spinning but again ..you said you know the way ...why you stop ed ..you know the way ..will you insist ..for your happiness ..will you insist ,this is the only thing I am bagging you ,for your sake insist ,God promised ,Mohamed (SAW) promised .when you 'll insist ? when you 'll walk in your way ,there is a place there ...you can put your head and I promise it 'll fit